The harder you try...
A friend was talking to me about his desire to be more selfish. He’s the kind who ends up caring and protecting for people instinctively. Now he feels that he should be able to switch that on and off as required. I was wondering about why we do the whole thing at all.
We live our lives surrounded by people and even the most reclusive person I know can’t completely do without company either. It’s something we need as humans. But the problem here isn’t just about the presence or lack of company as it is about our need to get more out of it.
We have many needs ranging from wanting to love to wanting to be loved; for comfort/ hugs; to give/ get advice; and there might even be an odd need for arguments/ abuse :-). Our need needn’t always be a need in the strictest sense. Taking care of someone is also a need ‘cos it indicates a need to be protective of others.
I end up wanting to look after my pals too. But I think at the same time I am totally capable of making very selfish decisions which might hurt some of the folks who I care a lot for. Technically, my need to shield these people from the world should also mean I should be incapable of hurting them. It doesn’t matter that I try to deliver blows with lot of padding. A blow’s a blow.
Procrastinating decisions that can cause pain don’t make them any less painful either. I have not made some choices ‘cos I didn’t want to hurt the other people involved in the equation. And at times I have not protested about major things in my life, thinking I was actually doing the right thing by conforming to other’s needs. I think I realize now that it was a sad mistake. Figuring out what I wanted and doing it solely for my need is much better than trying to fit other people’s needs into the equation. Sometimes you might end up assuming wrong things by thinking for other people. I think making yourself happy should be of more importance than anything else. It doesn’t come easily at times; but isn’t that hard to get to either.
You can’t make everyone happy no matter how hard you try!
We live our lives surrounded by people and even the most reclusive person I know can’t completely do without company either. It’s something we need as humans. But the problem here isn’t just about the presence or lack of company as it is about our need to get more out of it.
We have many needs ranging from wanting to love to wanting to be loved; for comfort/ hugs; to give/ get advice; and there might even be an odd need for arguments/ abuse :-). Our need needn’t always be a need in the strictest sense. Taking care of someone is also a need ‘cos it indicates a need to be protective of others.
I end up wanting to look after my pals too. But I think at the same time I am totally capable of making very selfish decisions which might hurt some of the folks who I care a lot for. Technically, my need to shield these people from the world should also mean I should be incapable of hurting them. It doesn’t matter that I try to deliver blows with lot of padding. A blow’s a blow.
Procrastinating decisions that can cause pain don’t make them any less painful either. I have not made some choices ‘cos I didn’t want to hurt the other people involved in the equation. And at times I have not protested about major things in my life, thinking I was actually doing the right thing by conforming to other’s needs. I think I realize now that it was a sad mistake. Figuring out what I wanted and doing it solely for my need is much better than trying to fit other people’s needs into the equation. Sometimes you might end up assuming wrong things by thinking for other people. I think making yourself happy should be of more importance than anything else. It doesn’t come easily at times; but isn’t that hard to get to either.
You can’t make everyone happy no matter how hard you try!
posted by procrastinator at 12:14 PM
1 Comments:
i will respond to this blog when i am a wee bit more sober .....
Mr.Sush
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