Wishing well

Do we really want things we can’t have? I have been musing a bit about my pining habits. I am not entirely sure yet if we wish for stuff ‘cos we want them real bad, or ‘cos we know we can’t have them. A pal of mine once told me that he had a weakness for fighting loosing battles. I thought of it as a bizarre thing that he should want to battle for things he knew he couldn’t have. Obviously, no course is ever writ in stone and there is always the odd possibility that the good breeze of fortune might blow in your direction. But sometimes it’s such a long shot that I wonder why we bother at all.

There are quite a few things I’ve always wanted to do. The list has waxed and waned over the years, but the key elements have stayed on. When I am in a reflective mood, I wonder about this list of mine. Will my life come apart if I never manage to visit Goa or own the 350z. Of course not. The weird thing was that I was told I could get the car I’ve liked for so long and I realized I didn’t really want it. I mean I did. I could totally see myself driving my black, hard top roadster. Grinning at how well it handled the curves on La Honda compared to my Accord and getting the chance to tell people that I’d love to give them all a ride but my car only seats two people. Hehe. I know it’s juvenile, but it’s pure fun. But the practical side of me kicked in and I was thinking about the car loan and how I never really drive much over 90 or try to race strangers anyways.

I couldn’t figure out what was stopping me for indulging. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d have done things for the sole pleasure of it. However, I’ve noticed that my degree and frequency of such indulgences has come down with age. Is it ‘cos we want fewer things with passion as we grow older or ‘cos we just give up. Does not trying at all make us lazy or more realistic in our approach to life?

All that talk doesn’t change the fact that it’s a hard thing to stop the wishing.